What personal boundaries can you set with your spouse who is a pathological liar and if they don't stop lying where do you draw the line?

Answer 1

Pathological liars have a mental disfunction and they really need professional help. Pathological liars really don't mean what they are doing, but can't help themselves. They feel inadequate and usually want to appear more important in their peers eyes than they feel they are. Pathological liars like to bring in a bit of the drama and mystery to otherwise make a boring story of themselves seem more exciting. Usually Pathological lying can start from childhood. Perhaps the child was really abused, or, the child couldn't handle confrontation if they did something wrong, so it was easier to lie. I know many adults that will either lie or hide in their shell simply because they dislike confrontation or afraid of the outcome of their mistakes. You can't set boundaries for Pathological liars. It won't work. It sounds as if you really love this person so here is what you do: Sit down with them and have a good talk. Let them have their say first. Some Pathological liars will admit they know they lie, while others will be in denial. Either way tell them that you aren't putting up with it and that they need psychological help and if they don't get it you are leaving! Mean it! Tell them you'll be there every step of the way (if you really want too.) You'd have to accompany them to the psychiatrist/psychologist because they may lie about keeping appointments. If you feel this person is great in every other way, then go the full 100 yard dash and get them some counseling. You sound like a person that believes in their marriage vows and wants to do all the right things. Still, if your mate refuses help and their problem is destroying your marriage there is no shame in at least getting a separation first (to let them know you mean business) or, a final divorce. Good luck Marcy