Why would a new rebound partner make you miss your ex-husband even more than you did before?

Answer 1

AnswerOften people are on the rebound because they are confused and lonely. They are looking for something they didn't get in their last relationship, but are stumbling in the dark stepping forward too soon so their emotions are not settled yet.

I think the hardest part of dating another after an ex is a feeling of guilt as if you are cheating on your ex. I know when I left my ex husband and filed separation papers and then divorce papers I felt all along I was cheating on him. There was a bond and some trust in the ex relationship at one point (however small it was) and I think inwardly we hope and pray we could go back and all would be well, but in most cases it wouldn't turn out. I think guilt is bothering you and I bet you find yourself comparing your new boyfriend to your ex. I can count on that one.

You need to sit down and write on a piece of paper why you and your ex are split-up. Put down two columns: THE NICE THINGS MY EX DID FOR ME and then the second column THE THINGS MY EX DIDN'T DO FOR ME AND THE NEGATIVE WAYS HE TREATED ME. You will have your answer right away and I can bet on this too ... the second list will have more things on it.

Sometimes it's better to go to the opposite of your past partner. If your ex was extroverted, smooth talking, good looking, etc., then how about giving a guy a chance that isn't so handsome, is a little shy and isn't quite so confidence. I find over achievers and people with OVER confidence a royal pain in the butt and egotistical snobs. One can be confident in what they do, but the trick is, be silent about it.

Give it a shot. I did. I was married to my ex for not quite 4 years. He was nice looking, loved to party, could be a lot of fun and a hard worker. I met a wonderful man that was well over 6 feet tall (that attracted me to him as I like tall men a lot) and he was shy, a little unsure of himself, but intelligent, gentle and getting to know his personality I still think he's super handsome. We have been married for almost 34 years and I still think he's hot! LOL

So, give this guy of yours a chance, and nix the ex. Don't get too serious too fast, and learn to laugh and have fun without too many strings attached to your relationship right now. Be sure to let your new boyfriend know how you feel, but don't discourage him. If he's meant to be with you he'll understand.

AnswerPerhaps it is the "grass is always greener on the other side" syndrome. You left your husband (or he left you) and now a new partner makes you think of the things you miss or loved about your ex. It is just one of the phases you go through when separating from a relationship. Treat it like a death, there is always a grieving process when you've lost someone. You have to do the same things to get over a person, keep busy so you don't think about it. Dive into something that makes you happy and let time pass, before long it will feel okay to you.