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you cant if the doctor you trust put you to sleep and assaults you you stand no chance................I wish I had an answer for this but as pathetic as it sounds my Mother has done this to me for years and it took a lot of misguided and counseling and searching to even identify it but after reading the stages and realizing what was happening I'm still in the same predicament and fighting to get out of it. I married a physically abusive man short term that only made me that more of controllable I've been unable to have a relationship with anyone other than my children for 13 years because every positive relationship was so out of the norm and uncomfortable it terrified me and all i can do is get angry with myself because I'm still under her control I have to accept the lies no matter how blatant i can't express an opinion without being accused of something wrong with me and trying to be argumentative and aggressive. I've sought counseling and psychiatric help for years and came to many frustrating brick walls because the term and process of ambient abuse is unknown by virtually every counselor out there. They don't know how dangerous it really it is how profoundly it can effect you. Soon you do it to yourself they don't even have to be there. I"m going to school but still financially dependent and of course the closer i come to finishing the more volatile and let's pull the rug out before she stands on her own two feet it is. If there is a solution out there I wish I knew it and had the strength to implement....my isolation has been so profound I'm absolutely terrifed of intimate relationships you can identify the problem you think that would lessen it. It just deepens my frustration because I can't talk about it get out of it and it is almost impossible for anyone to understand they will just think I am ungrateful. I couldn't even describe the violent outbreaks the few times I tried to just stand my ground without raising a voice maybe just not backing up or pointing out a blatant lie without going along with it or a false memory i know didn't happen. If anyone knows of a solution or how to bring about more awareness on the subject I would love to know. Ironically my abuser identified what she was doing for me bringing up the term gaslighting....I went to look it up, I can't tell you the profound shock most of the time I would know it was her and then I would almost instantly doubt myself and tell myself it was me

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12y ago
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16y ago

ambient is a strong sleeping pill. if you feel you are abusing this drug contact a counselor.

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Q: How do you get out of ambient abuse once you are already a victim?
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Explain how God forgives a sexual abuser who stop but was once a victim?

if the abuser is genuinely sorry for what he has done, admitted his wrong to both the victim and to god and has taken genuine steps to repent.however, if the abuser was once a victim, in y opinion, it makes the situation worse, as the abuser should be fully aware of the dammge he/she has done.I was violently raped, but i have no desire to abuse another human being.


Why do some of the answers to abuse questions seem to further blame the victim rather than making the abuser 100 accountable for his actions?

Because once the behavior is identified, the victim can leave and remove herself from the situation, but those who continue are now taking part in their own abuse. Most advice regarding abusers tell the victim to get away from the situation, but most of them don't. Yes, the abuser causes the problem and is at fault, but the victim is an enabler who allows it to continue. If someone is being abused, she should leave, although many people consider that to be blaming the victim. Unfortunately, it's just a realistic approach to dealing with the problem.


How can a man abuse another man by making him lose consciousness?

Men can over drink alcohol and lose consciousness and in this modern world there is also the date rape drug or 'knock out drops' (use to be called a Mickey Finn' to render the victim unconscious. Once the victim is unconscious then they are at the mercy of the man who committed the crime.


Why do panrents abuse?

Parents abuse because they seen or got abused once in there lifetime.


Is it verbal or mental abuse if unkind words are spoken once or twice during disagreements over a 25-year period or is verbal and mental abuse a repetitive barrage of insults criticisms and put-downs?

Abuse can be one word, or 500 words. Anything said with the intention of hurting your feeings, self esteem, or person.. Although, there are quite a few people who unintentionally hurt others, not knowing they do this behavior. It's a learned behavior, simply because we humans aren't born knowing how to hurt others. There ares several types of abuse.. PHYSICAL ABUSE - any unwanted physical attention - kicking, punching, pushing, pulling, slapping, hitting, shaking - cutting, burning - pulling hair - squeezing hand, twisting arm - choking, smothering - throwing victim, or throwing things at victim - restraining, tying victim up - forced feeding - hitting victim with objects - knifing, shooting - threatening to kill or injure victim - ignoring victim's illness or injury - denying victim needs (eg. food, drink, bathroom, medication etc.) - hiding necessary needs - pressuring or tricking victim into something unwanted - standing too close or using intimidation - making or carrying out threats to hurt victim -making her (victim) afraid by suing looks, gestures or actions - smashing things - abusing pets - display of weapons as a means of intimidation SEXUAL ABUSE - any unwanted sexual contact - forcing her to have sex, harassing her for sex - forcing her to have sex with animals - uttering threats to obtain sex - pinching, slapping, grabbing, poking her breasts or genitals - forcing sex when sick, childbirth or operation - forcing her to have sex with other men or women - forcing her to watch or participate in group sex - knowingly transmitting sexual disease - treating her as a sex object - being "rough" - pressuring her to pose for pornograpahic photos - displaying pornography that makes her uncomfortable - using sex as a basis for an argument - using sex as a solution to an argument - criticising her sexual ability - unwanted fondling in public - accusation of affairs - threatening to have sex with someone else if she doesn't give sex - degrading her body parts - sexual jokes - demanding sex for payment or trade - insisting on checking her body for sexual contact EMOTIONAL ABUSE Also called "Psychological or Verbal Abuse" - false accusations - name calling and finding fault - verbal threats - playing "mind games" - making victim think she/he is stupid, or crazy - humiliating victim - overpowering victim's emotions - disbelieving victim - bringing up past issues - inappropriate expression of jealousy - degrading victim - putting victim down, not defending her - blame the victim for things - turning the situation against the victim - laughing in victim's face - silence, ignoring victim - refusing to do things with or for victim - always getting own way - neglecting victim - pressuring victim - expecting victim to conform to a role - comparing victim to others - suggested involvement with other women or men - making victim feel guilty - using certain mannerisms or behaviour as a means of control (eg. snapping fingers, pointing) - threatening to get drunk or stoned unless.... - manipulation - starting arguments - withholding affection - holding grudges and not really forgiving - lying - threatening to leave or commit suicide - treating victim as a child - having double standards for victim - saying one thing and meaning another - denying or taking away victim's responsibilities - not keeping commitments - insisting on accompanying victim to the doctor's office - deliberately creating a mess for victim to clean - preventing victim from getting or taking a job - threatening her with anything (words, objects) - refusing to deal with issues - minimising or disregarding victim's work or accomplishments - demanding an account of victim's time/routine - taking advantage of victim's fear of something - making her do illegal things DURING PREGNANCY AND CHILBIRTH - forcing her to have an abortion - denying that the child is his - insulting her body - refusing to support her during and after pregnancy - refusing sex because her pregnant body is ugly - demanding or pressuring her for sex after childbirth - blaming her that the baby is the "wrong sex" - refusing to allow her to breastfeed FINANCIAL ABUSE - taking victim's money - withholding money - not allowing victim money - giving victim an allowance - keeping family finances a secret - spending money foolishly - pressuring victim to take full responsibility for finances -not paying fair share of bills - not spending money of special occasions when able (birthdays etc) spending on addictions, gambling, sexual services - not letting victim have access to family income SOCIAL ABUSE - controlling what victim does, who victim sees, talks to, what victim reads and where victim goes - put downs or ignores victim in public - not allowing victim to see or access to family and friends - change of personality when around others (abuser) - being rude to victim's friends or family - dictating victim's dress and behaviour - choosing victim's friends - choosing friends, activities or work rather being with victim - making a "scene" in public - making victim account for themselves - censoring victim's mail - treating victim like a servant - not giving victim space or privacy USING CHILDREN - assaulting victim in front of the children - making victim stay at home with the children - teaching children to abuse victim through name calling, hitting etc - embarrassing victim in front of the children - not sharing responsibility for children - threatening to abduct children, or telling victim they will never get custody - putting down victim's parenting ability DURING SEPARATION/DIVORCE - buying off children with expensive gifts - not showing up on time for visitation or returning them on time - pumping children for information on victim's partners etc - telling children that victim is responsible for breaking up the family - using children to transport messages - denying victim access to the children USING RELIGION - using scripture to justify or dominance - using church position to pressure for sex or favours - using victim, then demanding forgiveness - interpreting religion or scripture your way - preventing victim from attending church - mocking victim's belief's - requiring sex acts or drugs for religious acts ENVIRONMENTAL ABUSE ABUSE IN THE HOME - locking victim in or out - throwing out or destroying victim's possessions - harming pets - slamming doors - throwing objects - taking phones and denying victim access to the phone ABUSE IN THE VEHICLE - deliberately driving too fast or recklessly to scare victim - driving while intoxicated - forcing victim out of the vehicle (when angry) - pushing victim out of the vehicle when it is in motion - threatening to kill victim by driving toward an oncoming car - chasing or hitting victim with a vehicle - killing victim in a deliberate accident - denying her use of the vehicle by tampering with engine, chaining steering wheel or taking the keys RITUAL ABUSE - mutilation - animal mutilation - forced cannibalism - human sacrifices - suggesting or promoting suicide - forcing victim to participate in rituals or to witness rituals Here are some symptoms of abuse... MISUSE OF POWER AND CONTROL Using Emotional Abuse - putting victim down - making victim feel bad about themselves - calling victim names - making victim think they're crazy - playing mind games - humiliating victim - making victim feel guilty - treating victim like a servant Using Economic Abuse - preventing victim from getting or keeping a job - making victim ask for money - giving victim an allowance - taking victim's money - keeping family income a secret and preventing access to income Using Intimidation - making victim afraid by using looks, gestures or actions - smashing things - abusing pets - displaying weapons in threatening way Using Isolation - controlling every aspect of victim's life - controls who victim sees and talks to and where victim goes - limiting outside enjoyment - using jealousy to justify actions Using Coercion and Threats - making or carrying out threats to hurt victim - threatening to leave or commit suicide - pressuring victim to drop charges - pressuring victim to do illegal things Using Children - making victim feel guilty about the children - using children to relay messages - using visitation to harass victim - threatening to take children away Minimising, Denying, Blaming - making light of the abuse and not taking victim's concerns about it seriously - saying the abuse didn't happen - shifting responsibility for abusive behaviour - saying the victim caused it I would highly suggest staying away from this other person, totally. No relationship with them, no sex, no phone calls, no finding out gossip about them. Cut them out of your life entirely. Quit blaming them for your life. Ignore what they say about you if you hear it from other sources. If you're still unwilling to make that step, accept your share of the responsibility for what goes on. Neither of you is contributing to a healthy relationship by staying together. You're both basically feeding into a continuing cycle on both sides. If you have children together it's especially unfair and abusive to them. I can't believe what I have just read! I have been married for almost 35 years, have known my husband for almost 40 years. If you think we haven't had a word or two said to each other that didn't sit right, then you are sadly mistaken. NO marriage is perfect. The difference is, when you may have a very few falling-outs with your partner (and we are only human) is to cool off, apologize and sit down like to adults and communicate and try to understand why one or the other feels the way they do and come to some resolution. Two people can't be married for years and not butt heads on occasion. As far as what the poster said in their question NO YOU ARE NOT VERBALLY ABUSED! The hallmark of abuse is the ('unauthorized') exercise of POWER by one person over an another. It is generally also HABITUAL. In any family or household, there will be times when basically good people 'snap' and say unkind things and/or yell. If people make their peace soon and don't behave like this habitually - and don't bully and intimidate others, then it isn't abuse. AnswerAbuse so depends on what the rest of the words that are used during the marriage. If the silent treatment is part of the package, it is abuse. If the discussion is stonewalled by the unkind words, it is just plain mean. Anything short of listening, affirmation and considered response is not going to further the relationship. We all have to work on improving together. Answer The original question refers mainly to verbal/emotional abuse. There is a common thing in nearly all cases. The abuser will say if asked, that the abused person, should not have been hurt by their words. This is naturally not their decision to make. Then, when the two sit down to discuss the issue, the abuser will talk about the other person's feelings. The abused will talk of their own feelings and will want to hear of the feelings of the other person. This, afterall is the start of reconciliation and beginning of apology. Unfortunately the abuser will not talk of their own heart and feelings in most cases and will be arrivated by the one who does.


How long does the abusive partner stay away?

Many abusive partners are controlling and use either verbal abuse (calling the victim names; taking away their self confidence and alienating them from family and friends) to physical violence (hitting; kicking; giving the victim any wound on their body; split lip; missing teeth; black eyes or broken bones.) Often the abuse goes unreported and some abusive partners will actually take their victim into the hospital for treatment, but the victim can be fearful or brain-washed into thinking they can't get along without their abuser and will lie to protect the very person who abused them. If the abusive person is forced to leave their victim alone by a court of law or imprisoned there is still a high risk that the abuser feels their partner (victim) is still their property and may well go after the victim once again. Unfortunately, some abuser will feel 'if I can't have them then no one else is' and murder is involved. In a few cases the abusive partner will just walk away and not enter the victim's life again.


Was Hammurabi code fair to the victim?

Mots laws are fair in punishment to the culprit. Once a person becomes a victim, there is not much anyone can do.


What should you do is a victim of a vampire?

Once you fix your question, I'll tell you.


Is it abuse when your husband gets drunk once in a while and then mocks you about how messy you are and about your concern for your 9 year old son?

Yes there are different class of abuse. In this case it is verbal abuse.


Is it abuse if it is done only one time?

You didn't say what "it" is, but yes, if you abused a drug or a person, even once, it is still abuse.


Abuse and violence against women in relationships?

Abuse is abuse. Once someone strikes you, all respect is lost. No matter how sincere the apology is after the fact, they can and will strike you again. I have been there once a long time ago, and know someone that has recently gone through it. Think of yourself and get out of it while you can!


Child Abuse - Victim Information & Remedies?

Child abuse is deplorable, and it is:Any action that results in imminent risk or serious harm, death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation of a child; By a parent, caretaker or any person that is responsible for the child's welfare.Reporting Child AbuseChild abuse laws in most states require that once certain people become aware of child abuse they are required to report it, these people include:school officialsdoctorspoliceIf these people were aware of the child abuse and did not report it they may be responsible to the child for the injuries that he/she suffered at the hands of the abuser.Bringing a Lawsuit for Child AbuseTime is of the essence. Each state has a "statute of limitations," which is the time limit when you are permitted to bring a lawsuit. If you delay past this time period, you will be prohibited from bringing a lawsuit for child abuse. Consult with a local attorney to learn more about the time limits for bringing a child abuse lawsuit in your area.Tolling the Statute of Limitations for Child AbuseSome states extend the time limit within which to bring a child abuse lawsuit. These states usually allow the lawsuit to be filed a specific number of years after the child reaches adulthood, or after the abusive memory that was repressed resurfaces.Criminal vs. Civil CourtCriminal Child Abuse – a person is prosecuted by the district attorney's office for committing child abuse against a victim. If you are facing criminal charges, you are in criminal court and need a criminal defense lawyerCivil Child Abuse – involves the victim suing the person who committed the child abuse against them to recover damages for their injuries. If you want to sue someone for your child abuse injuries, or are being sued by the victim for money, you are in civil court and need an experienced personal injury lawyer.Recovering Damages as a Victim of Child AbuseVictims of child abuse often have a difficult time recovering for their losses. Most child abuse incidents involve individual abusers who do not have insurance or sufficient assets to pay for the victim's injuries. There are exemptions, such as when the abuser was a member of an organization (e.g. a church), or a person with a duty to report the abuse but failed to do so (e.g. a doctor).If the person who committed the child abuse against you does have the ability to pay, if you win a lawsuit against them, you may be able to recover for your damages, including:Medical expensesLoss of earning capacityPain and sufferingVictim of Child Abuse?If you or a loved one has been a victim of child abuse, you should speak to a lawyer immediately to learn more about preserving your rights and remedies. A lawyer will be able to explain the value of your case and help you navigate through the complicated legal process. Most lawyers who handle these types of personal injury matters work on a contingencybasis.Accused of Child Abuse?If you are accused of child abuse, you should speak to a criminal defense lawyer immediately to learn more about your rights, your defenses and the complicated legal system.Disclaimer:This article is a guideline and is not legal advice - No information here iswarrantedorguaranteedfor any purpose., as laws vary from state to state, it is not intended to be an all inclusive discussion of the law applicable to any action in your state. Please consult with a legal professional when appropriate - if you are charged with a crime, contact a criminal defense attorney.[video=]