What is the Shelf life of Mike2's hard lemonade?
This brew should not be drunk by amateurs or minors, brewed deep in the valley of Upper Swampland by Mike2 using fresh well water and strained through an old sock, this delicate flavoured drink has been known to strip paint at 30 metres. Mike 2Ss lemonade has a very short shelf life at the moment, we are waiting for new containers to be developed. We are struggling to find a material that will resist the corrosive power of this wonderful drink. There may be a supply shortage, as we are running short of sweaty socks to strain the brew. If you have any spare old sweaty socks, unwashed of course, please send them to our Upper Swampland factory. This drink is now being tested by the government at the biological warfare department at Porton Down. Disaster has struck Porton Down scientists have declared the lemonade a major health hazard, there is not a bar in the country that has a shiny finish any more. This is due to the sheer power of the drink, and it's paint and varnish stripping ability. We are now diversifying into the civil engineering field with Mike 2s lemonade as the product is now even stronger ( we had some extra sweaty socks ) It has been found to be ideal for removing small hills when new roads are being made. A quick spray from a suitably protected helicopter, and the hill starts to shrink immediately. Within twenty four hours the landscape is perfectly flat, unless the mixture was made too strong, then we end up with great big holes in the ground. the benefit of this, is another carp fishery can be made very close to the new road. well those carp anglers do tend to take a lot of gear with them and it does save them a long walk, before they erect their nylon homes. We did the initial testing on the East Anglia mountains, That proved to be very successful indeed. If you are ever rock climbing or just admiring the view from a hillside, and you hear the sound of a helicopter in the distance. Run for your lives The next time you are cruising along a new road, and the surface is nice and flat just think how Mike 2s lemonade has helped. Raise a glass and toast the success of this wonderful product, preferably with a non alcoholic, non radioactive, non corrosive, drink of your choice. We are now looking for ways in which to reuse all the mountain climbing equipment which has suddenly flooded the market. Any suggestions are most welcome. Re.. Suggestions for surplus mountaineering equipment Over on page 87690 there is an elderly baboon that will have an use for some of this equipment in helping him paint Valentine hearts on the high billboards in America, the flying leap he's been told to take might not work at such heights. Furthermore, the seven dwarfs are looking for ideas on how to get into their new beds that Snow White has bought them. Hope this goes someway in clearing the surplus. Oh No, What shall I drink nowBeing an hardened secret drinker of Mike's Hard Lemonade, I'm down to my last 20,000 gallons, how am I going to last the week. And so much for your slogan Drink Mike's Lemonade, The Company That Cares. What about the promo you were running, Buy 100.000 gallons of Lemonade, and get a free tour of Iraq and Afghanistan, those nice army blokes were here just last week and said as soon as I put my next order in, I would be eligible for the free tour, they would bring all the paperwork with them next time. Thanks a bunch, a disgruntled Ex-Customer.
