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Not knowing the situation on either side except what is in question there could be a variety of reasons for this behaviour. One unfortunately maybe she wants out - meaning out of the marriage - these are typical (and beyond) of ways to push you away. Making you leave her instead of her leaving you which then some try to go for everything. Do some investigating she may have already sought legal advice in this matter as well.

She could be going through menopause or have a very controlling nature of her own.

As for abusive allegations only you two know the truth.

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