How do you approach self centered guy?

Answer 1

Use "I"-centered statements with specific historical examples when confronting someone about his selfish behavior. Also, remember to keep the discussion about his behavior, rather than about him as a person. For example: "Eric, I feel bad when you cancel our plans at the last minute; it makes me feel like you don't care about my time. For example, last Monday you didn't call to cancel our dinner appointment until 10 minutes before we were supposed to meet. And then 2 weeks ago, you didn't even show up at the restaurant at all: I waited for you there for 45 minutes. Finally, you called me the next day to explain and apologize -- but it felt like 'too little, too late.' Anyway, your behavior makes me mad and disappointed. Could you please respond to this?" Although you might want to instead "go for the jugular" and say something like, "Eric, I can't believe what a self-centered a-----e you are! Your mama must have totally spoiled you...(etc.)," try to avoid name-calling and personal attacks. Naturally, such an approach usually makes people defensive. There are certainly are some nice, albeit selfish, people who just need a "heads-up" and who will change their behavior accordingly if they care to do so. However, there are some people on whom one can waste a lot of time without getting much back.