How can a man be so cruel to say he's sorry but he only used you for 5 months for sex and now it's over?

Answer 1

I am sorry you have been treated so poorly, but this is a good learning curve for you and a reality check that not all people are nice people. There are users and abusers out there and none of us like to face the fact it happens, but it does. When we enter into any relationship it's a gamble and so is marriage. It's about chemistry and how much in common you have with the person or if you have similar interests in life but your personalities may be quite different.

Everyone has a heartbreak or two, so don't feel you are alone in this at all.Don't beat yourself up over this. Everyone can make a mistake and we don't get manuals to tell us what to expect in a relationship because each relationship is different. Take this opportunity to learn from it, realize the signs of jerks like this, and you'll be that much smarter when you have another relationship. There is a good guy out there for you and you should be racing around like a caged bird set free.

I am happy to tell you that this jerk will get his. He's going to bump into the wrong woman who will take him for everything. Trust me on that. My favorite saying is, "the head of the snake will turn around and bite you on the butt!" It means, that when you treat others poorly and use and abuse their kindness or feelings, then someone is going to do them dirt or they will end up a very lonely person. I see it over and over again. This guy isn't getting away with anything.

Stay strong!

Marcy

AnswerThanks Marcy. Your right. AnswerYou're so welcome. Dry those tears and get out there and have some fun. Here is a wise saying I heard in a movie and I printed it out and stuck it on my fridge:

"If you don't forgive the person that hurt you, then they still have control over you."

Stay strongMarcy

AnswerHi Marcy: I am feeling much better. The hurt is still there. Whay hurts the most is that he said he was waiting until he ran into me to tell me. He couldn't even come to my house. He said he didnt want to tell me over the phone. Maybe he thought that would lead me on.Then on the phone im not sure why but he said he wanted to talk more about it. Then he doesnt even call. Im not angry and I handled it right when he told me, all I said is Im glad i know now i can get on with my life and not live in wondering whats going on anymore. That was it. I didnt cry, plead or anything. I am feeling better but it will take a few more days to rid myself of this grose feeling of being used. I feel like a real bafoon. But i have been forcing myself to get out after work. I have ended friendhsips of people that knew him and i avoid like the plaque anywhere he goes. I find that helps to be in self preservation. I also keep telling myself that this is his loss cause if at 47 he is this immature, he will never be happy. I also don't wish anything bad for him cause he is not a part of my future, so who cares if he wins the lottery! Anyhow, im taking care of myself by going out, pamepering myself, avoiding negative people and places, getting exercise and rest and i have already noticed i have noticed a few hunks out there closer to my age...34. Anyhow, I also am looking at my accomplishments such as university, raising my daughter who is seven and diabetic, and going through a divorce only a year ago! I came out the other end through all this....so in the grand scheme of things this is minor and one day i will meet a man that deserves me. Any more advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks. AnswerI am so very proud of you and you're a fighter! Don't beat yourself up over this because I know I've been taken down the garden path in my younger years and more than once. Almost everyone has. Men like this are immature. While he was being honest in one respect he's still a jerk. There you are, a lovely young woman with a diabetic child and he still took you for a ride. You did nothing wrong! You thought he was sincere because he made you believe he was and we just can't know a person 100%.

In a few months you will see that it wasn't love at all. I look back on some of my relationships and realize what I thought was love really wasn't. I was fortunate to find a wonderful man and we've been happily married for 33 years. Oh yes, we do have our arguments and disagreements, but always make up. Even at 64 I'm still learning some hard lessons in life. One lesson I can never get use to is a "me generation" or why people can't reach out to others and help. There are some great people out there, but there are more jerks (women and men alike) than the good guys. I really have to work on realizing that many people only care about their own survival. I am cautious and I slowly get to know a person (be it male or female) before telling them too much about myself. I am always pleasant and never treat anyone poorly, but speak my mind if I don't like the way I'm being treated. If that person won't smarten up then I just keep moving.

Heck, go for a guy that is 26 to 30! No kidding. I was in Safeway one day and went to the deli and there was this lady in her late 50s or early 60s. There was a nice, good looking young man that had just popped around the corner and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She apologized for keeping me waiting and I said, "Oh, that's so nice your son stopped in to see you." She said (and my face turned red because I had put my foot in my mouth) "Hell no, he's my boyfriend!" We had a good laugh over that one. I saw her a couple of weeks ago and they are getting married. Some will say that a 38 - 40 year old is way too young for a 50 - 60 year old, but it depends on the individual and I think they're marriage will work out just fine.

I was married before to a guy my age (21) and he was abusive and a cheater. I dated a lot of men, but only got serious once before I met my second husband. That fellow it turned out was a nice enough guy, but an alcoholic. He didn't want to change and I didn't think I had the right to change him so I moved on. That one hurt! Then I was introduced to my former husband by a good male friend. I found out after dating my husband he was 4 years younger than me, but it didn't matter because he was far more mature than the men I'd been dating that were my age.

I want to end this by telling you that a nice young girl (about your age and had one daughter that was 4 years old) worked in the flower dept., of Safeway. She was lonely and really wanted to date someone nice. My husband and I had just the guy for her and he was about 2 years younger than her, but a super guy. I was so excited and rushed in to tell her, but with a glint in her eye and her face glowing she told me she had met a wonderful guy and her daughter just loved him. A year later they got married. So you see hon, there is that special someone out there for you and your daughter. I bet in this coming year you are going to meet some fantastic guy. When you do, please post and let me know how you made out.

Good luckGod BlessMarcy

AnswerHi Marcy:Thanks for all your insight. It has helped. I am doing very well. The loser actually called lastnight to say hello and was hinting to start this all over again. He said sometimes he is not gratefull for what he has. He has done this before, but this time I just said call me back in ten minutes and I didnt answer the phone. I think he says those things to reduce me to an object so I will feel so worthless to allow him to control. Its a way for him to look honest but also degrade me at the same time by saying I used you.The thing is now I don't want him anymore. No man is worth pain like that and finally it has subsided. I have been keeping busy and hanging out with my daughter and supportive friends. Take care. AnswerGood for you and you are right on the money regarding this jerk. I think he wants his cake and eat it too. Your daughter comes first and you sound like a great person and a good mom. You are doing all the right things and I'm so proud of you for making an excuse to get off the phone with him. The sad part is, you and I never got to see the look on his face! LOL

Keep doing what you're doing and before you know it you'll meet that special someone. I met my second husband through a good male friend of mine. I know how you feel as I had begun to think I was never going to have a decent boyfriend and re-marrying really looked like it was out of sight. Just when we think we have our lives down pat something wonderful enters it. I know you will have someone wonderful walk into your life before 2006 is over.

Have fun and realize just what a strong and wonderful person you are.

Good luck honMarcy